DKL

NO HOLDS BARRED

Back in 1974 James Hamm pleaded guilty to a drug-related murder in Tucson. He received a sentence of 25 years to life in prison. After serving 17 years—during which he earned a sociology degree—Hamm was released on parole and admitted to Arizona State University (ASU) Law School.

This semester, the convicted murderer will teach two courses at ASU’s School of Justice Studies.

The Washington Times wondered if this might spark a new hiring trend. Could future parolee Sirhan Sirhan be placed at some prestigious campus roost? Would Charles Manson be qualified to instruct students on the finer points of "Alienation: Its Sources and Responses?"

Considering the current academic mindset, it just might happen. After all, one ASU faculty member referred to the hiring of convicted murderer James Hamm by saying, "He did something real stupid when he was 17. Why the hell should we condemn him for the rest of his life?"

HOMOHOP HOSPITAL

Vassar College officials were shocked over the 400 percent increase in the number of students hospitalized after this year’s "HomoHop."

The event, sponsored by the Queer Coalition, is one of numerous student events that have suffered from drugs and alcohol-related problems.

Since EMS units from surrounding counties had to respond to the HomoHop situation, even Vassar Dean of Students D.B. Brown admitted that "something is not right." While the Dean said that students should take responsibility for their actions, the school also formed a committee to study the reasons that the problem occurred and recommended more drug education.

PIE IN THE SKY?

Green Party supporters at Cal Berkeley recently vented their feelings about the school’s megabucks ties to companies that market genetically engineered food products by tossing pumpkin pies at Gordon Rausser, Dean of Berkeley’s College of Natural Resources.

At issue, according to the Washington Times, was the school’s recently-inked deal with pharmaceutical giant Novartis AG, which gave them first negotiating "rights to any discoveries stemming from research funded by the agreement."

This means that Berkeley’s natural resources college, which pioneered development of genetically altered strawberries and tomatoes, won’t be able to use Novartis’s proprietary technology for its advanced research, since the company, in effect, gets right of first refusal on acquiring new product rights.

Although the pie tossers denied any Green Party links, the party made no secret of its opposition to the deal, along with a similar one between UC-Davis and the Monsanto Corporation.

In fact, the day before the Berkeley contract was announced, Davis chancellor Larry Vanderhoef was also hit in the face by a mysterious pie thrower.

Although Berkeley officials maintain that the Novartis deal provides more than enough safeguards for academic freedom, along with research funds, this didn’t dissuade the pie tossers, who said that the corporate deal contradicts the school’s stated "goals of sustainability, protection of the environment and food safety."

CAMPUS CULTURE VULTURES

The University of Southern California’s recent "Gender and Sexuality Week" featured performance artist Annie Sprinkle, who lectured on "My 25 Years as a Multimedia Whore," according to Heterodoxy. Also on the program was USC English prof James Kincaid, a supporter of sex between children and adults, who recently authored Erotic Innocence: The Culture of Child Molesting.

Other sessions included "Sex is Dirty, Save It For Someone You Love," described as a "creative workshop," featuring former Episcopalian chaplain Elizabeth Davenport. Students could also attend a lecture by female-to-male transsexual Loren Cameron—or an event called the "SC Lovefest," a USC version of the radio/TV program "Loveline."

Meanwhile, columnist Suzanne Fields reports that some Manhattan-based glitterati recently held a ‘90s-style "teach-in" at New York University to protest Prez Bill’s upcoming impeachment. During the event, nobel laureate Toni Morrison described the pro-impeachment group as an "arrogant theocracy genuflecting at the knees of a minority."

Novelist Mary Gordon, inspired by Morrison’s earlier idea that Bill Clinton is our first black president (because he behaves like black men she knows), suggested that we think of him as our first female president.

Why?

Because his "libidinal" longings are a catalyst for right-wing phobias.

EDUCATION LITE

Are you wondering if it’s worthwhile staying in school when all those Gen-X internet entrepreneurs with no college degrees are making fortunes overnight?

A new Census Bureau report claims that education levels still have a huge impact on earnings. In 1997, the average income of college grads was $40,478 while high school grads earned only $22,895. Those with advanced degrees earned $63,229 while high school dropouts brought in a measley $16,124.

National Center for Policy Analysis honcho Bruce Bartlett noted in a recent Washington Times piece that despite the correlation of education and income, there are indications of a steep decline in educational quality during the past several years. After all, dumbed-down textbooks and teachers who fail simple certification tests aren’t the best prescription for educating the next generation.

The teachers’ unions claim that in order to get better quality, you have to pay high salaries. If that’s true, says Bartlett, teacher quality should have taken a quantum leap instead of a nosedive. In 1980, teachers earned 46 percent more than production workers and in 1997 they earned 57 percent more.

PEANUT BUTTER IS NOT COCAINE

The sudden peanut scare is affecting school districts around the country. Even the Department of Transportation tried to decree that airlines create a "peanut-free buffer zone" for passengers who request it.

Are peanuts going to fall into the same category as hard drugs or cigarettes?

Sensible schools are providing peanut-free lunch tables and teachers are being taught to administer shots to those who have allergic reactions. But Forbes magazine can’t help envisioning a possible scenario whereby Jif and Skippy become subject to prohibition-like raids when the peanut police begin stalking neighborhood schools.

WHERE THE BOYS AREN’T

So you’re looking for a few good men? Columnist Maggie Gallagher points out that the Marines aren’t the only ones who share your sentiment. Thanks to the feminization of higher education, colleges and universities are suffering a gap in male enrollment. By the year 2007, more than 2.4 million men will be missing in higher education.

Women outnumber men in every educational category, says Gallagher, who noted that at UNC-Chapel Hill, there are nearly three women for every two men.

According to Columbia Teachers College president Arthur Levine, "Lots of places try to get some gender balance by having easier admissions standards for boys than for girls." In a recent speech, Dr. Levine recalled asking admissions personnel: "How far down the list are you going for boys?" The answer was: "All the way."

If you’re wondering where all the guys have gone, the answer’s not so easy. More boys are dropping out of high school. Some of them go on to criminal careers. Maggie also suspects that more women than men are staying in school these days, because they see themselves as breadwinners who are going to be entirely responsible for the future support of their children.

Politically correct educators like feminist Catherine Stimson are still skirting this issue, calling it "an old atavistic fear of tipping [the scales]."

Students say the new male-female ratio has mixed benefits. Boys say it’s great, because it opens up dating possibilities they never dreamed existed. Women students are less enthusiastic. After all, who are all these presumably bright young women going to marry?