Charlie Chan in Seattle

, Malcolm A. Kline, Leave a comment

Those of us who grew up watching Charlie Chan at the Olympics and in Monte Carlo and various other locales were, nevertheless, somewhat surprised to, figuratively, run into the honorable character at the Modern Language Association (MLA) convention, the world’s largest gathering of English professors.

To be sure, he was not as obvious a choice for an MLA panel as Shakespeare, Pope or Donne. Nonetheless, he was much better company than run-of-the-mill MLA favorites such as Judith Butler.

Chan came to the Seattle meeting courtesy of a professor from the University of California at Santa Barbara who has chronicled the creation and genesis of the famed fictional plainclothes detective from the Honolulu police force. Moreover, in the course of his research, Yunte Huang found that Chan’s fictional exploits were based on the real-life adventures of an actual detective.

Yet and still, while the Chan of mystery novels and movies was rather sedentary, or at least sedate, sort of reminiscent of Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot, his actual inspiration was more reminiscent of Jackie Chan than Charlie.

“On a balmy July night in 1904, a wiry figure sauntered alone through the dim alleys of Honolulu’s Chinatown,” Huang writes on his website. “He strolled up a set of rickety steps and into a smoky gambling den ringing with jeers of card sharks and crapshooters.”

“By the time anyone recognized the infamous bullwhip dangling from his hand, it was too late. Single-handedly, the feared, five-foot-tall Hawaiian cop, Chang Apana, had lined up forty gamblers and marched them down to the police station.”

For some reason, Huang chose to give his presentation at the MLA as “a ventriloquy in two parts.” Thus, he assayed the role of Chan giving the aphorisms that fans have come to know and love. Ironically, in giving the bon mots a modern twist, Huang wound up delivering material so politically incorrect that conservatives would not even use it on each other.

“Ancestry of Chan is difficult to determine,” Huang told the crowd. “Many people from Hawaii have problem locating that document called ‘birth certificate.’” The audience of MLA regulars turned into the Petrified Forest in an instant. If there was one crowd whose vote the president can depend on it’s this one, no matter how high the unemployment rate gets.

The rest of Huang’s speech was received with more warmth, even lines like, “The backyard of America, not to be confused with Mexico.” As well, Huang said, “Everything is post-racial, post-this, post that, so why is the post office going out of business.”

Huang emigrated from China in 1991. He notes that the Chinese retain some affection for Chan but Honolulu’s finest is not their favorite. “They like Charlie Chan but they love Fu Manchu,” Huang says. “Fu Manchu is a real badass.”

Malcolm A. Kline is the Executive Director of Accuracy in Academia.

If you would like to comment on this article, e-mail mal.kline@academia.org