Those of us who fall on the right of the center of the political spectrum frequently find ourselves at a loss when trying to communicate with those who don’t.
Accordingly, we’ve come up with some tongue-in cheek conversational stratagems that will enable you to make small talk with true believers on the Left. You may want to try these out on hard-core conservatives first: If they guffaw, odds are, progressives won’t:
- What do you really think of Donald Trump?
- Is homophobia the fear of homogenized milk?
- Do misogynists actually give massages?
- Is xenophobia the fear of Xena the Warrior Princess?
- Does LGBT stand for liquor, guns, bacon and tobacco?
- Does gun control mean using both hands? (Full disclosure: this is a direct steal from a bumper sticker)
- I’m going to the firing range at the NRA, wanna come?
- Boy, the Koch Brothers really do some incredible work, don’t they?
- What’s your favorite show on Fox News?
On second thought, when you do unveil these bon mots on progressives, you may want to do so when they’ve had a few stiff drinks and you haven’t. That way, you’ll be in shape to make a run for it and they will not.